Spare the Child and Spoil the Rod
What do I want for Son and Daughter? That's complicated, but I can make even the simplest things complex.
I want them to have a good sense of perspective. I want them to be able to objectively come to the conclusion that lots of the people they know are hopelessly dim and narrow. We're going to travel with the kids which will help this, and Daughter's already gone more places than most people I know. I'm also going to teach them about why people do the things they do. All the absurd, destructive, and bumbling actions that people take have some kind of motivation behind them. Example, if in 15 years Daughter says, "Steve invited me to a party, but he's just trying to get me in bed. He's a fucking idiot anyway.", then I'll be thrilled.
I want them to run with their curiosity. I want them to follow up those little flashes of curiosity with more investigation. That's something I can work with a lot. They ask a question about something and we'll figure out how the hell it works.
I want them to want to do well at whatever it is they choose to do. Not much else to explain there.
2 comments:
it's completely possible for her to say it in 15 years out of good confidence and self esteem.
Then again... my cousin K. said it (what you wanted to hear from your daughter) while he was a junior. his exact words were:"I'm not gonna have sex like the other guys in high school. What they do is just plain stupid". But u and i thought he was just being an Asian nerd/sour grape.
She can have sex, I just want her to not do it with idiots.
and yes, your cousin is 100% sour-grapes. See, making the choice not to have sex when women are throwing themselves at you is one thing. Making the choice not to have sex when you have a better chance of winning the lottery is kind of different.
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