Princess Rodeo - Round 1

I got tired of the Superman thing. If anyone out there is dying to know the ending, then let me know and I'll follow through.

Now we're onto a more grown up topic, profiles of the Disney Princesses. Daughter is just at the right age to be entranced by Disney's Princess marketing campaign. So that means that on most days I'm knee deep in fairies, musical numbers, and puffy dresses. As a coping mechanism for this, and every other little jab life sends my way, I twist things around in my head until they amuse me.

Lets start with my least favorite princess,

Snow White

It's pretty obvious that Snow White is, by a pretty wide margin, the stupidest of the princess crew, and that's a pretty low bar to limbo under. She'll eat anything you hand her and will gladly walk off into the woods with creepy armed men. Like most of the early princesses, she contributes absolutely nothing to the victory over evil, and is, in fact, asleep during the final conflict. She's basically everything you hope your daughter doesn't turn out to be.

Hobbies: Naps (this will come up often with princesses), eating treats from strangers, tricking woodland animals into doing housework

Dialog that translates most easily into porn: "Why, you're seven little men."

Strengths: High pitched wheedling voice exerts complete mind control over anyone under 4ft tall.

Weaknesses: Crippling stupidity. Holds conversations with echoes.

Secret Shame: Left the dwarf's cottage with a new perspective on life... and a positive pregnancy test. Doesn't know who the father is. Hopes it's Doc, pretty sure that it's Dopey